Posted by Spookie on July 31, 1996 at 22:16:44:
In Reply to: ANYTHING posted by THERESA on July 30, 1996 at 16:24:50:
I am a godlike figure, often seen feeding the poor in the midst of Years ago I discovered the meaning of life accidentally packed I create abstract art with only a xerox machine and make kissy-poo I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized On weekends, I translate ethnic slurs from the dead sea scrolls. I've "seen the lite", been skinny-dipping in Brasil, I've mud wrestled Rambo to a draw; only to lose in the next round I've edited the Reader's Digest abridged version of the Koran I have contructed psychic networks with tin cans and recycled My brainstorms often throw me overboard. I use my telepathic powers
gymnastic sex. I've created an award-winning line of nutritional
supplements for Burger King. I woo women with my sensuous and erotic
manipulation of the kazoo.My one-man imitations of the Three Stooges
have won several Tonys.
I wrote my life story when I was three. I program without a computer
and I cook Two-Minute eggs in 15 seconds. I have won wet t-shirt
contests.
inside a Cracker Jack box, but found it lacking. I introduced
the Cordon Bleu to the toaster oven. I fake orgasms.
with my mortal enemies. My haiku versions of TV Guide have earned
me fame in international literary circles.
UCLA's Political Science building - then decided to give it back.
I have a misdemeanor conviction for breaking the laws of physics.
I play nude racquetball blindfolded.
My sperm is actively traded on the futures markets. I am a 5th
degree black belt in full-contact golf. I finished the Summer
of Love in three days.
and possessed by Liberace. I perform brain surgery without making
an incision. At night, I speak with Elvis.
to Dr. Ruth. I spontaneously heal insane butterflies. I've double
parked in the suburbs of paradise; only to get a ticket.
and won Congressional Approval for interspecies marriages.
I'm a connoisseur of petroleum jelly.
felt-tip pens.I rule plant kingdoms with an iron fist;
yet am an outlaw in Gautamala.
only for good. I introduced the 32 cent edible food stamp.
But I have a tendency to spew, random incoherant mutterings.
BTW, I'm a graduate student in Computer Science whose
developing online journals for brain researchers and dancers.
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