Re: Poem-The Shrimp Boat

Posted by Reverie on May 11, 1997 at 19:37:15:
From 1cust6.max74.new-york.ny.ms.uu.net

In Reply to: Poem-The Shrimp Boat-any comments appreciated posted by Neca Stoller on May 11, 1997 at 13:19:23:

Nice phrases. Enjoyed it. Good work. No, Forest Gump you. But a talented poet.

Perhaps it may be my intrinsically eccentric approach, but would suggest the first part of the poem be abandoned (or rewritten to occur more subtly further on in the poem.

It could be that without the first part one is immediately cast amid a mystery, finding out where the poem is going. By being not so obvious perhaps a more poetic effect is the result.

And perhaps leading to more of an adventure and less of a prose statement.

In any fashion, the poem sees clearly, speaks in tones with engaging images. I love it. It evokes the dream state. Let's see more of your work. Please.

Follow Ups:

• Re: Poem-The Shrimp Boat neca Stoller 08:34:30 5/12/97 (0)